THE WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
Little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful Younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very Tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She Would regularly bend down when she was near Me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to Be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was Near anyone else. One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to Come over to check the wedding invitations. She was Alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she Had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t Overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once Before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if You want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.’ I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go Up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned And made a beeline straight to the front door. I Opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord… And behold, my entire future family was standing Outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and Said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our Little test. We couldn’t ask for a better Man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.’ And the moral of this story is:
Famous Last Words xD
Which wire was I supposed to cut?I wonder where the mother bear is.
I’ve seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms. .
I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
You look just like Charles Manson
Let it down slowly.
Noo these windows are ok to lean on.
Don’t worry it has airbags.
Hey what’s that buzzing noise?
Don’t worry its not that deep.
One time at band camp.
No, he doesn’t bite?.
Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.
I can pass this guy.
OK, I’ll go ahead and make your day.
My brakes are fine.
Nice doggy.
I think it’s trying to communicate…
“Homicidal Tendencies”?
Hey, you’re Eminem, aren’t you?
“Na, I don’t think we need to go to the hospital.”
“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” — Western Union internal memo, 1876.
“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” — David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.” — Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
“So we went to Atari and said, ‘Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we’ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we’ll come work for you.’ And they said, ‘No.’ So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, ‘Hey, we don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.’” — Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak’s personal computer.
“Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy.” — Drillers whom Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist in his project to drill for oil in 1859.
“No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.” — Orville Wright.
“Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.” — Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
“It’s a dud! It’s a dud! It’s a du…”.
“Don’t touch the red button!”
Gee, that’s a cute tattoo.
It’s fireproof.
What does this button do?
So, you’re a cannibal.
Are you sure the power is off?
Pull the pin and count to what?
This doesn’t taste right.
I can make this light before it changes
I can do that with my eyes closed
look ma! no hands!
Hey that’s not a violin.
Don’t be so superstitious.
Now watch this.
Understanding Fibromyalgia — the Basics
Fibromyalgia is a non-life-threatening, chronic disorder of the muscles and surrounding soft tissue, including ligaments and tendons. Its main symptoms are muscle pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and tender points at certain parts of the body. Many people describe fibromyalgia as feeling like a persistent flu. Some health care providers may use these terms to refer to fibromyalgia: fibromyositis, fibrositis, periarticular fibrositis, muscular rheumatism, chronic muscle pain syndrome, musculoskeletal pain syndrome, or tension myalgia. However, “fibromyalgia,” which means “pain of the muscles and other fibrous tissue,” is the accepted term and has replaced some of the others. Terms ending in “-itis,” which means “inflammation,” are now considered incorrect because inflammation does not play a significant role in fibromyalgia. Muscle pain, either throughout the body or only at certain points, is the primary symptom of fibromyalgia. It may range from mild discomfort to pain severe enough to limit work, social activities, and everyday tasks. Pain commonly occurs in the neck, upper back, shoulders, chest, rib cage, lower back, and thighs and may feel like a burning, gnawing, throbbing, stabbing, or aching sensation and may develop gradually. It usually seems worse when a person is trying to relax and is less noticeable during activity. A related, key aspect of fibromyalgia is the presence of “tender points,” muscles and tendons that are tender when pressed. Typically, tender points are located in the neck, back, knee, shoulder, elbow, and hip. People with fibromyalgia also feel moderately to severely fatigued and have sleep problems, including insomnia. People with fibromyalgia may also experience other problems including headaches, memory or concentration problems, and irritable bowel syndrome. According to the American College of Rheumatology, for a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, you must have tenderness at a minimum of 11 of 18 specific “tender points” associated with the condition. Some health care providers diagnose fibromyalgia in patients who have fewer tender points but who otherwise have severe, widespread (meaning upper and lower body occurring on both right and left sides) pain symptoms that are present for at least three months. Those who have fibromyalgia may have tenderness at any of several other points on the body as well. Experts estimate that 5 million American adults have fibromyalgia. Of these, 80% are women. One of the main risk factors is being a woman between the age of 20 and 50. Fibromyalgia also seems to run in families, so a gene may be at least partly responsible for the condition. Most people with fibromyalgia begin to notice symptoms between the ages of 20 and 40, but children and older adults may also develop the condition. Experts do not know what causes fibromyalgia. There are several theories about possible causes or triggers. Inadequate sleep is a possible trigger. Another is suffering physical or emotional trauma. Some experts believe that an infection or other illness may play a part. Problems in the processing of pain by the brain and nerves may also contribute to fibromyalgia. What Is Fibromyalgia?
Key Characteristics of Fibromyalgia
Tender Points and Fibromyalgia
Who Is Affected by Fibromyalgia?
What Causes Fibromyalgia?
I GO TO SLEEP AN WAKE UP TIRED =(
Fatigue that doesn’t go away is one of the most common fibromyalgia symptoms. In many cases, people with fibromyalgia wake up feeling more tired than when they went to bed. This was the case for one member of WebMD’s fibromyalgia community. She decided to have a sleep study to find out if sleep apnea was at the root of her fatigue. “As it turned out, I didn’t have it. However, I found out that the ‘inside muscles’ get tired too. So when I sleep my exhausted heart and lungs slow down so much that my brain doesn’t get enough oxygen … which means more fatigue,” she says. To help with the fatigue, she’s been using an oxygen supply when she sleeps, and it makes a big difference. Although it doesn’t improve her overall energy level, it does help with her brain function. “My brain is awake and alert instead of feeling too sleepy to function until noon,” she says. “So I would recommend that anyone battling constant fatigue get a sleep test done ASAP!” She also suggests that other community members ask their doctors about increasing their fibromyalgia medication during flare-ups that can add to daily fatigue. She increases the dose of her medication for three days during flare-ups and finds that it helps with fibromyalgia symptoms. “Be patient with your doctor. Everyone reacts differently to different medications and supplements. Don’t be afraid to tell him you need to try something different,” she says. As another way to deal with fibromyalgia muscle pain and fatigue, she recommends trying to keep your muscles as relaxed as possible. She finds using moist heat is one way to keep muscles relaxed. “Two hot showers — at least 10 minutes — a day are a must. One is not enough. Or you may prefer a soak in the tub,” she says. A hot shower the morning and then again before bed works best for her. Another woman notes that while her doctor warned her about getting overheated, a warm shower does help loosen her muscles and “gets my fingers working somewhat like fingers are supposed to.”
Page 1 of 2
